Hello Baby Belle, I'm so sorry I haven't written for so long mainly due to life being a bit crazy with your big brother being so poorly and your big sister starting school but that definitely does not mean I haven't been thinking of you - in fact quite the opposite, all that stuff only made me think of you more, Staying with Freddie in the hospital I stayed in with you, on the same ward, in the same high dependency bed space, only made me think of you more, you really did touch the hearts of everyone that was lucky enough to meet you and every Dr and nurse that had met you remembered you even though it's been so long since they saw you and they all commented to mummy and Freddie on what a beautiful brave baby girl you were, Faithy starting school also makes me think of you more as you should be just a year behind and lots of her friends have brothers and sisters the same age as you so there's reminders of you everywhere at the moment, I am REALLY struggling right now it's so hard to accept that this is forever and that never again will I have you in my arms or even see that gorgeous face of yours, Every night I am having the same 'dream' about you and it's getting much more frequent and it makes me so sad as it wakes me up thinking that you are still here with me and when I roll over to look at you laying next to me in your cot, it kills another piece of me as the realisation hits hard that you are not here anymore, Everyone who has ever told me that time is a healer is a fool!!!! Time is definitely NOT A healer, time just makes it harder, as every day spent without you is a day too long and the more time that passes the harder it gets as it's made clearer and clearer that I will never have my beautiful baby girl with me again, Nothing in this world feels right without you but then how can it, it's not right that we're not together, I love you so much my darling girl and I am truly broken without you, Anyway Mummy has done enough rambling for now so I will stop, Love you baby girl ... for all eternity Xxxxxxxxxxxx